Not Quite Right
by hopefulfeathers
Summary: An OQPromptParty entry, #42 Accidental magical body swap


**Hi everyone! Very short little drabble for Day Five (Friday) of OQPromptParty!**

**Prompt 42. Accidental magical body swap.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Something's wrong. _She doesn't feel quite right.

Her body feels far heavier, far bulkier. That thick stench of forest seems to linger all around her, far more potent than it used to be. Her legs feel like dead weight and her arms unmoving. Her clothes feel as if they weigh a hundred pounds, one layer piled after another as if she is trapped under a mass of woolen blankets, unable to escape.

Groaning with a slight stabbing pain to her head, the onset of yet another migraine, Regina opens her eyes. She blinks up at the stony ceiling in a haze, idly thinking how stupid she must look lying sprawled out on her back in the middle of her vault.

What was she even doing here in the first place?

…_Ahh, that's right._ She was in the middle of finding a spell or potion to incapacitate and capture the Wicked Witch.

Another groan, not from herself but from the other end of the room.

_Right._ The thief was with her as well, having insisted that he help. Regina remembers how she had begrudgingly accepted his offer, on the grounds that he not get in her way… and that he not touch anything. In truth, she'd quite liked the thief's company despite their incessant bickering, but that's a definite truth of which she is more than willing to take to her grave.

_So what did happen?_

Regina hasn't the slightest aside from the very funny feeling in her gut. But then as her memories return, she goes rigid at the realization. The fallen vial, the plumes of purple smoke, the squeezing in her gut and the tingling in her limbs, and then the darkness surrounding her.

_Fuck_.

A second groan from the other side of the room and a little shifting of movement.

"Regina?—Oh!"

The former queen's eyes widen as she can hardly believe her ears that register the sound of her own voice speaking from outside her body. And she stiffens once more.

"Bloody hell…"

The second time propels her into motion and Regina shoots to her feet, wide eyes looking wildly about until they settle upon none other than her own regal form sitting up on the stone floor, staring right back with the same bewildered expression.

"Robin?" Regina cringes at the sound of _his_ voice coming out of _her_ mouth.

"Regina?!" Her own self speaks back, pushing herself—_himself_—up to stand. "What the bloody hell happened?"

Strange words said in her own voice indeed. Regina finds herself speechless as she can do nothing but raise a shaking hand to her face, feeling a rough stubble scratch beneath her fingertips. Upon looking down at herself, she witnesses the damage in full. Gone is her low-cut purple velvet gown, which displayed her voluptuous breasts so scandalously, only to be replaced by a thick heavy armor over a white tunic covering her now flat muscled chest. All her beautiful assets are no longer hers and Regina finds herself pouting like a child that had its favorite toy taken away.

_Goddammit_, she loved her own body. And now all that's gone, given to a man who doesn't deserve it.

"Will you stop that?!" Regina shrieks upon glancing back at Robin.

The thief stills, his hands cupping her breasts, midway of feeling up his new form. He stares at her with her large chocolate eyes, looking like the kid who stole from the cookie jar.

"What's the matter with you?!" Regina scolds, stomping over to him. Without even a thought about the strangeness of the act, she grabs the thief's hands and yanks them away from her—his—breasts. "How would _you_ like it if I—"

"Yeah, yeah, okay! I get it!" Robin backs away, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"I can't believe you got us into this mess," Regina whines, crossing her arms.

"I'm really sorry, I—"

"Save it." The former queen marches over towards her many shelves of vials. "Thanks to you, I'll be making no progress today in trying to defeat my sister because I'll have to be stuck again, with you literally, until I can find a way to reverse the spell."

"It… is reversible, right?"

Regina huffs out a laugh. "Well if it isn't, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun."

"Mm, perhaps," Robin says, "What can I say, you are incredibly stunning. Who wouldn't want to be you?"

The former queen turns her head away. As she bites her lower lip, she feels a blush spread across her cheeks, even though such a remark was made as a joke.

"I feel quite blessed," the thief continues, "Though, when I made it my mission to steal your heart, this wasn't exactly what I was going for."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Now's not the time for flattery, thief. It just sounds weird, coming from my own voice."

"Mm," Robin hums, "Then you better change us back quickly, so you can hear it correctly."

"You know I still hate you."

"Without a doubt."

"And I hate you even more because of this."

"Oh, I'm sure you do." Robin sounds highly amused. "But I'll take it. I know there are worse things."

Regina grumbles. _Worse things indeed._ The truth is that she has no clue of how to reverse this curse. And the realization of herself having to be stuck physically inside the thief's body comes like a weight on her manly shoulders. Yet, there's that niggling feeling that pushes her not to care so much. And the need to just laugh at this downright ridiculous situation is becoming stronger and stronger.

Who knows? Maybe this could be fun.


End file.
